Sunday 15 February 2015

Public Outrage! Brighton Declares Makeup Free Zones

Certain parts of Brighton are to be declared as makeup free zones as a protest against cosmetic products.


The law, which was speared headed by a group of radically unattractive women, states that there will be a ban on people wearing makeup in certain parts of Brighton during certain times in the day.

A representative of the Foundation Against Foundation (FAF) group, said:
“We should all look natural. We were made this way and we should stay this way.”

Surprisingly, the council have given a small sum of money to start the project which is expected to come into effect from Friday. It is expected to be ignored shortly after.

The people behind the movement are, largely, very unattractive women who appear to think they have the right to tell people that they shouldn't wear makeup. In a strange new development, unattractive women with low self-confidence appear to have been given authority to tell people how they should look. Before now, it was commonly thought that women who have confidence issued would want to support each other. Instead, they will be handing out “cutting eyes” and “screwing them out.”

The prohibition does not exclude men. They will be treated with scowling stares and may even be subject to ‘sly comments’ if they are caught wearing makeup.

The zones and time restrictions will only be available in the FAF newsletter, which is not being displayed anywhere relevant. 

The general public are being advised that if they see any unattractive people staring at them, to simply apply more makeup and give them a hug, until the makeup starts to rub off on them.  


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